What is the superlative for moronic. There is more moronic, then there’s completely moronic and there are politicians on the right side of the political spectrum who start pushing for an Australian Republic when no one else is even mentioning it. That really is the final straw. And this is how it is going to have to be.

The problem has been from the start that Tony Abbott is too much of a nice guy for the office he holds. He doesn’t want others to be in fear of him, but to like and respect him. OK, but that’s not the advice Machiavelli gave and it’s not been a really good political technique either before or since. There’s not enough mongrel. Real deep down anger at stupidity, incompetence and treachery. So let us suppose the Libs hold Canning. Nothing will work unless they hold Canning. But then if they do, it is time for a cabinet re-shuffle in which there are two pieces of deadwood in particular who need to be put on the fire.

It may actually be the case that at some time in the past I have said something positive about Hockey’s management of the economy. It’s possible. But let us sum up. Joe has never from the moment he kept Martin Parkinson at Treasury and then onwards got a thing right. Even Wayne Swan could talk about getting the deficit down. Parkinson probably even had the same people write his speeches as the ones that wrote Wayne’s. Kind of a private joke. Same empty lines. Same lack of action. Same vacuous ideas. You had your chance and it’s time to go.

And then of course there is Dr Proctologist, here shown discussing the latest examination of his favourite client. This is the man who was to lead us into the digital age, missing in action on every front unless he can find some way to sandbag the Prime Minister. His two responsibilities: the ABC and the NBN. That is, the two largest single-issue failures of this government. You wouldn’t trust him.

There must just be something about wanting a republic that makes politicians into idiots. There was an identity thing, perhaps, but Australia is a quite distinct place on the globe. We know who we are and we are quite good at being us. The only reason you might want a republic would be because it would make the country more governable, more responsive to our political wishes. But that is not what it would do. And in fact, watching Obama ruin the United States, you would never want a republican system if you had an ounce of common sense. Cabinet governments work. If you want to make our political system work better, you should be thinking about how to reduce the power of the Senate, like not allowing it to reject money bills more than once or perhaps twice. The Senate has power without responsibility, the worst of all forms of political abuse. Who Jackie Lambie represents exactly is an unknown. That’s what you ought to be fixing, but no, these morons go for changing the superficial that will make us worse off, rather than doing something more difficult that would actually do us some good.