My son has sent me this on INTP parenting.
INTPs as Parents
“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth…
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.” — Kahlil GibranINTPs love and respect Knowledge, and want to pass their jewels of thought down to their children. Their greatest goal and satisfaction as a parent is seeing their children grow into independent, rational adults.
INTP parents are likely to encourage their children to grow as individuals, rather than attempt to fit them into a preconceived mold. They will stress autonomy through the children’s growth. They’re likely to respect their children’s opinions and wishes, and allow their children to have a voice and presence in the family.
The INTP parents are likely to be pretty laid-back and flexible with their children, sometimes to the point of being relatively “hands-off” with regards to the day-to-day issues. They’re likely to count on their spouse for providing structure and schedules. Since the INTP themself does not live in an overly structured or organized manner, they’re not likely to expect or create this environment for their children. If their spouse is not someone with the “J” preference, their children may suffer from a lack of boundaries. This is something the INTP should pay special attention to. Growing children don’t know Right from Wrong, and so benefit from having their parents define these boundaries for them.
In spite of their relatively unstructured approach to parenting, INTPs take their role as parent very seriously, and are likely to put forth much effort into doing what they feel will be most effective in helping their children grow into independent, wise adults. INTPs enjoy parenting, and get a lot of fun out of their children. They’re also likely to be very proud and loyal parents.
INTPs may have a problem meeting the emotional needs of their children. Although they generally are deeply caring and supportive individuals, the INTP does not always pick up on emotional clues. A troubled child of an unaware INTP parent may have to result to drastic “attention-getting” tactics to get their parent to understand their emotional difficulties. If you find yourself in this situation, you may find that expressing some of your own emotions will do wonders for your child, yourself, and your relationship. Although it may not be possible for you to suddenly be “tuned in” on what your children are feeling, at least you can let them know that you care.
Children of INTP parents generally remember them respectfully and affectionately as loyal, fair, and tolerant parents, who care for them a great deal, although they don’t often show it.
He thinks I was like that, and I cannot imagine any other way of parenting, but I guess there really are many other ways. He recognises me in that description, and if it is accurate, I am very happy to find that this is so.