Tag Archives: INTP

INTP parents

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My son has sent me this on INTP parenting.

INTPs as Parents

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth…
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.” — Kahlil Gibran

INTPs love and respect Knowledge, and want to pass their jewels of thought down to their children. Their greatest goal and satisfaction as a parent is seeing their children grow into independent, rational adults.

INTP parents are likely to encourage their children to grow as individuals, rather than attempt to fit them into a preconceived mold. They will stress autonomy through the children’s growth. They’re likely to respect their children’s opinions and wishes, and allow their children to have a voice and presence in the family.

The INTP parents are likely to be pretty laid-back and flexible with their children, sometimes to the point of being relatively “hands-off” with regards to the day-to-day issues. They’re likely to count on their spouse for providing structure and schedules. Since the INTP themself does not live in an overly structured or organized manner, they’re not likely to expect or create this environment for their children. If their spouse is not someone with the “J” preference, their children may suffer from a lack of boundaries. This is something the INTP should pay special attention to. Growing children don’t know Right from Wrong, and so benefit from having their parents define these boundaries for them.

In spite of their relatively unstructured approach to parenting, INTPs take their role as parent very seriously, and are likely to put forth much effort into doing what they feel will be most effective in helping their children grow into independent, wise adults. INTPs enjoy parenting, and get a lot of fun out of their children. They’re also likely to be very proud and loyal parents.

INTPs may have a problem meeting the emotional needs of their children. Although they generally are deeply caring and supportive individuals, the INTP does not always pick up on emotional clues. A troubled child of an unaware INTP parent may have to result to drastic “attention-getting” tactics to get their parent to understand their emotional difficulties. If you find yourself in this situation, you may find that expressing some of your own emotions will do wonders for your child, yourself, and your relationship. Although it may not be possible for you to suddenly be “tuned in” on what your children are feeling, at least you can let them know that you care.

Children of INTP parents generally remember them respectfully and affectionately as loyal, fair, and tolerant parents, who care for them a great deal, although they don’t often show it.

He thinks I was like that, and I cannot imagine any other way of parenting, but I guess there really are many other ways. He recognises me in that description, and if it is accurate, I am very happy to find that this is so.

INTP

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Myers-Briggs INTP:

INTPs are quiet, thoughtful, analytical individuals who tend to spend long periods of time on their own, working through problems and forming solutions. They are curious about systems and how things work. Consequently, they are frequently found in careers such as science, philosophy, law, psychology, and architecture. INTPs tend to be less at ease in social situations or in the “caring professions”, although they enjoy the company of those who share their interests. They prize autonomy in themselves and others. They generally balk at attempts by others to convince them to change. They also tend to be impatient with the bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and the politics prevalent in many professions. INTPs have little regard for titles and badges, which they often consider to be unnecessary or unjustified. INTPs usually come to distrust authority as hindering the uptake of novel ideas and the search for knowledge. INTPs accept ideas based on merit, rather than tradition or authority. They have little patience for social customs that seem illogical or that obstruct the pursuit of ideas and knowledge. This may place them at odds with people in the SJ (Sensing/Judging) types, since SJs tend to defer to authority, tradition, and what the rest of the group is doing. INTPs prefer to work informally with others as equals.

INTPs organize their understanding of any topic by articulating principles, and they are especially drawn to theoretical constructs. Having articulated these principles for themselves, they can demonstrate remarkable skill in explaining complex ideas to others in very simple terms, especially in writing. On the other hand, their ability to grasp complexity may also lead them to provide overly detailed explanations of simple ideas, and listeners may judge that the INTP makes things more difficult than they need to be. To the INTPs’ mind, they are presenting all the relevant information or trying to crystallize the concept as clearly as possible.

Given their independent nature, INTPs may prefer working alone than leading or following in a group. During interactions with others, if INTPs are focused on gathering information, they may seem oblivious, aloof, or even rebellious—when in fact they are concentrating on listening and understanding. However, INTPs’ intuition often gives them a quick wit, especially with language. They may defuse tension through comical observations and references. They can be charming, even in their quiet reserve, and are sometimes surprised by the high esteem in which their friends and colleagues hold them.

INTPs are driven to understand a discussion from all relevant angles. Their impatience with seemingly indefensible ideas can make them particularly devastating at debate.

INTPs are often haunted by a fear of failure, causing them to rethink solutions many times and second-guess themselves. In their mind, they may have overlooked a bit of crucial data, and there may very well be another equally plausible solution.

It’s just like being a Capricorn, which I am as well.