Lying about how many and how often

When I was around 15-16 I read a Playboy article about “Sex on Campus” where they had a set of statistics on how many times someone had had sexual relations among university students. I don’t recall any of the data other than that the highest possible category was “8 times or more”. I assume that more than once with the same partner only counted as one. This was pre-pill and pre Sexual Revolution, which soon made “8 or more” into a nonsense figure so far as university students were concerned. It must look absurd to today’s Millennials. We thought we were “liberated” back then, although decadent seems more like it. The only time I made my Mother really angry with something I said was quoting from this friend of mine who said, “Better a sexual revolution than no revolution at all”. I now side with my Mother on this, but that was a whole lifetime ago.

The reason I bring this up is because of an article I have just come across on Dating Deception: When Sex Is On Our Minds, Lying Comes Naturally. Not surprising I suppose, but this did surprise me.

For what it’s worth, both men and women tended to report lower falsified numbers of sexual partners in the presence of an attractive individual, and on average the most common false statistic given was seven previous partners.

I was not surprised to find the number shaded since no one wants to look like a complete tart, yet it does suggest that the old morality about sleeping around still lurks somewhere in the culture. But it was the number that everyone now thinks of as a moderate, not particularly loose kind of person, that got to me. The potential for disease and heartbreak must be enormous since there must be some kind of commitment required, or so I would hope.

Although this may sound preposterous today, when I started out “dating” – such an odd term today, does anyone now “date? – you were looking for someone to marry. You might be 13-14, but there was only one end-game in mind which was to find a life-long companion to live with, have children with and to see each other through old age. Sleeping with someone meant in virtually all cases that you had decided to marry each other. Lots of people I still know married the first person they ever slept with, and often enough not until they actually were married.

I don’t know what the rules are today, but from what I see from a very great distance it all looks bleak and dreary.

And let me add in this which I have just come across at InstapunditInstapundit.

READ’EM AND WEEP, LIBS: Institute for Family Studies demonstrates that multiple research studies find conservatives are consistently, measurably happier than non-conservatives. And it gets even better (or worse, depending on your POV), according to Glenn Stanton.

Seems to make my own point in a different kind of way. From one of the articles linked.

Conservatives are also vastly more likely than liberals to believe marriage is essential in creating and maintaining strong families. They are also much more likely to actually be married, 62 versus 39 percent, thus benefiting from all the ways marriage improves overall well-being and contentment, personal happiness, economic security, long-term employment, longevity, better physical and mental health, and more.

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