What happens when someone who writes with great charm about the funny stuff in life instead gets really angry about something that is not funny at all. Here we find out. Danny Katz has just been hooked up to the NBN and it is definitely no joke. He titles his column The NBN is coming! but it’s actually about what happened after the NBN arrived. For me, the waste and incompetence associated with government services like this are just one of life’s impractical jokes. This is part of the joint efforts of the Liberal-Labor Coalition to turn Australia into another Venezuela. Read the column through, but this will help you see what’s there at the link.
I sat down and stared at the green lights, waiting for them to stop flashing, waiting for my better life, thinking “NBN (Nearly, Be-patient, Not-long)”. The NBN connection box flashed for another 20 minutes, then another 20 minutes, then another hour and a hour, and I thought, “N… B… N (Nope… Bugger… Nothing).”
I was reminded of the wise ancient proverb, “A watched NBN™ Connection Box will never connect to a high-speed network (via a hybrid fibre coaxial lead-in cable)”.
So I got up and had a little snack in the kitchen: NBN (Nachos, Bowl, Noshing). When I came back the lights were still flashing. Getting a bit stressed now, a bit anxious, NBN (Nails Bitten Nervously).
The NBN instruction booklet told me to contact my internet service provider if there was any trouble, so I rang up Technical Support and was put on hold for another 40 minutes, an occasional recorded voice saying, “Did you know that you can resolve many of your technical problems online?” and I thought, “Well I would, if I could get online, you NBN (Numbskull Boofhead Neanderthal!)”
This is the full flowering of the Kevin-Julia-Malcolm alliance, peak political and economic stupidity at its highest intensity.